I want ___, but

 I was in conversation with a client the other day when I heard them say, “I want to respect (fill in a person’s name), but I also want them to (fill in the blank). It brought my awareness to the fact that sometimes when we insert a “but” it could be because we have perceived that things have to be either/or.  When in fact, we could have both!  So, my challenge to you is to bring your awareness to the next time you are speaking and find yourself using the word “but.”  What thought is in the way that’s keeping you from having both? What space could you come from and what approach could you take to create both?  Sometimes this may provide a better possibility for all parties involved.  

That being said, your thoughts to respect someone are your choice and how they show up is up to them.  With adults, we can make requests, but that’s all.  Whether you are happy or upset based on the choices others make is up to you, not them.  As parents it’s a bit different in that you set expectations and have clear consequences, this way you do not have a reason to be emotionally hurt when children fail to meet them.  

     So, what do you want? And what’s in the way...except your thought about it? Excited to help you discover and create.  Everything you want is within reach....let’s go!  

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